The Step-by-Step Process I Teach Clients
Have you ever experienced a time when you suddenly realized…
This isn’t the kind of leader I meant to be.
This isn’t the impact I wanted to have.
This isn’t the legacy I had in mind.
Maybe you strayed far from your goal without even realizing it, like a sailboat drifting off course one degree at a time, until one day you woke up and found yourself hundreds of miles from your destination.
Last week, I talked about becoming the leader you want to be and determining the legacy you aspire to leave. In Thriving Leaders Circle we call it “Intentional Leadership.”
In that article, we explored how to set your aspirations and goals and start leading with intention, but that’s only the beginning. Once you move towards a goal, you will inevitably start to drift off course. It happens to all of us.
So today, let’s talk about how to course correct and stay on track. And it starts with knowing your core values.
Course Correcting: The Importance of Core Values
If you followed the advice in my last blog, hopefully you have thought long and hard about the specific impact you want to make as a leader.
Maybe you even started to set concrete goals or plans to help you make your desired impact.
Now you need to know how to avoid drifting off course as you make the journey to becoming the leader you want to be. On a regular basis, you will need to keep checking your path, recognizing when you’ve gone astray, and re-aligning toward your destination.
The best way to course correct is by using your core values.
When you are clear on your values, everything gets a little bit (or a lot) easier. You can make decisions and chart your path in life and leadership with more clarity, intention, and purpose.
Your core values are like an internal compass, always guiding you back on course. They let you know when you’re not being true to yourself and your goals.
Core values aren’t limited to the workplace either. What I’ve found is that your core values are with you all the time. A core value might show up differently at home or at work, but because it describes the essence of who you are and what’s most important to you, the core value is always there, regardless of the context.
So, how do we come up with our core values?
As a leadership coach, there is a process I use with clients and groups, but you can absolutely do this on your own. Over the next few weeks, I’ll lay out the entire process I use, with a focus on Phase 1 today.
You’ll want to grab a notebook or open a blank doc and set aside about 10 to 15 minutes for this part.
Ready? Let’s go!
Putting It Into Practice
The process I use is called “Mining for Values”. We’re mining for them because they are already there inside you, waiting to be discovered and brought to the surface!
STEP 1: Self-Reflection
Start by asking yourself these questions. Capture your answers in written form or voice memo.
- What lights you up and makes you feel most alive?
- What gives your life that special spark?
- If you could design your ideal day at work, what would it look like?
- You don’t have to be realistic. You can teleport or even do a job you don’t currently have.
- What would you be doing?
- What would the environment be like?
- Who would you be working with? Would you be working alone or with others?
- What’s a peak experience from any time in your life?
- What’s a story or a moment when you felt joyful, proud, or fulfilled?
- What’s a time when you were “on fire”?
- What brings you down or makes you angry?
- If you had an all-powerful magic wand, what would you most want to change about the world?
STEP 2: Extracting Values
Review your answers and identify the values you can see shining through these stories. At this stage, you’re listing every value that feels true for you. We’re not worrying about narrowing down the list just yet.
The first three questions will point directly to values. For example, if I say that traveling, meeting new people, and trying different foods make me feel alive, that might point to values of adventure, excitement, culture, learning, knowledge, curiosity, and connection.
The last two questions will point to the opposite of your values. If I say that what makes me angry is when people lie or mislead others, that points to values that are the opposite of deception, such as integrity, honesty, authenticity, and trustworthiness.
Using AI to Speed Up STEP 2
Sometimes extracting core values from your self-reflections can be difficult. So this is one step where AI comes in very handy!
Here’s how you can use AI to streamline the process:
- Consider the Mining for Values questions from STEP 1 and record a voice memo with the questions and answers, or type out the questions and answers.
- Open ChatGPT or the AI tool of your choice and paste the prompt found at the bottom of this email.
- Then paste the questions and your answers to the Mining for Values questions into the AI. (If you used voice memo, grab a transcript, or some AI models will let you simply upload an audio file.)
- Review the list of core value words returned by the AI and delete any that don’t feel true for you.
At this point, you’ll have a lengthy list of value words and it might feel overwhelming. After all, how can you use two dozen or more values to stay on course?
Don’t worry. Over the next two weeks we’re going to complete the process and narrow down your list to those most-important core values.
Once you complete this exercise, reply to this email and let me know how it went. Were you surprised by any of the value words that came up?
Keep an eye out for next week’s email, because we’ll continue with Phase 2 of the “Mining for Values” process.
See the AI prompt below:
AI Prompt
Act as an insightful leadership coach and expert in personal values discovery. I’m going to share some of my personal reflections—answers to questions designed to uncover what truly matters to me. Based on what I share, identify possible core values that are revealed.
Core values are typically expressed in one word (e.g., integrity, growth, joy), though occasionally a two-word phrase may fit better (e.g., creative expression, continuous learning).
Please return your response in a table with two columns:
- In the left column, list each potential core value.
- In the right column, briefly explain—in one sentence—why this value stood out based on what I shared.
Do not respond yet—just wait for my reflections.