As 2020 draws to a close, I’ve been thinking about what I can say to you all at this time that will be helpful. What will be in support of you all finding peace with 2020 and setting your sights on better days (and outcomes) ahead in 2021? I’ve drafted and abandoned several blog posts, and finally arrived at this simple approach, which is based in the work I’ve done this year.
If we can discover the gifts that 2020 delivered, we will build resilience and be better prepared to handle both success and disappointment in the future.
In the mental fitness framework from Positive Intelligence, the “sage perspective” is key to strengthening our mental muscles. The ability to shift our perspective so that we can see what was good about a “bad” situation is a critical skill that we can learn and grow.
Let me repeat that last bit. Even if this doesn’t come easy for you, it’s a skill and you can get better at it. It’s certainly worth trying, as the benefits are that you’ll feel better, perform better in anything you do, and have better relationships. Pretty good reasons, right?
You may believe that everything happens for a reason, or you may think that’s hogwash. In this case, it doesn’t really matter. The sage perspective is a way of looking at something that has already happened and deciding what sort of story you will tell yourself and others about that event or circumstance.
It might help to look for the three gifts in searching for the sage perspective. They are:
- The gift of knowledge
- The gift of strength
- The gift of inspiration
Let’s consider a few examples…
Maybe your business had to completely adjust how it serves customers this year. You probably gained all sorts of know-how as you navigated that challenging situation. How might that knowledge help you and your company to be stronger and more agile in the future?
Maybe you lost your job due to the pandemic and had to get really creative just to pay the bills and keep food on the table. At the start of this ordeal, you might have thought it was an impossible task to survive this. As you proceed in your life, how might that new-found strength and inner fortitude serve you?
Maybe you lost someone that you loved dearly this year. The pain of this may feel overwhelming and the situation seems so unfair. How might you be inspired by this loss? The inspiration may be totally unrelated to the loss. Maybe you lost a parent and feel inspired to finish your degree. Or it could be directly related, such as a case where you lost someone to cancer and feel inspired to raise money to find a cure. When you consider your heart-breaking situation, what type of inspiration might come out of it?
I believe a few disclaimers are in order here:
- I’m not suggesting that you should be able to instantly shrug off a horribly painful event using this method.
- I’m not saying that you should never be bothered by difficult circumstances.
- I’m not telling you to just “look on the bright side” and stick a happy face sticker on your pain and suffering.
- I’m not suggesting that everything happens for a reason, or that the bad thing was “meant” to happen to you.
By adopting the sage perspective, you acknowledge the difficult circumstances, you offer yourself deep empathy for how hard it was, and you recognize that staying with the negative emotion isn’t helping to prepare you for the next challenge.
The sage perspective is meant to be an energetic shift from knowing for sure that something is “bad” and feeling victimized by it, to recognizing that even the most challenging situation can be converted into a gift or an opportunity.
In addition to being an energetic shift, the sage perspective actually lights up different parts of your brain. When you are swimming in the negative, victim energy of the bad circumstance, your survival brain is activated and you’re unable to see what’s possible. When you purposefully shift into the sage perspective, your brain responds and you gain more access to your sage superpowers of empathy, curiosity, innovation, finding meaning and getting into laser-focused action.
Your next steps are to think about a “bad” situation from 2020 that you are struggling with. Without getting attached to the answers, consider what might be the gift or opportunity you can create out of this circumstance. Try on the lenses of the gift of knowledge, strength, or inspiration. If this doesn’t come easily, think further into the future. Often, what’s painful today can be seen as a gift when you consider a longer timeline for the opportunity to materialize.
I’d love to hear how you are converting the struggles of 2020 into gifts that will set you up for greater ease and flow heading into 2021!